A Certain Shade Of Blue

So glad to be alive!

Keep on pushing forward!

What a feeling…….

I feel so alive!

in a whisper on the wind
on the smile of a new friend
just think of me,
And I’ll be there…

“When Morning Comes”

see the sun forever falling
let the setback slip through the cracks
keep us safe from ever crawling
let me know a life so sweet

say you wanted love
and you want it to feel
so real forever – well
remember why you have come
and all the shit that’s caving in is gone forever

*****

calm.

silence…

LIVING.

life is beautiful
we live until we die

this is ours just for a moment
there’s a lot left we can give

******

I am steady for three days now… Yup. Steady, cool, calm.

Funny, I still look at some of our pictures that I was able to save on friendster photoblog. I still glance at your page.

I even deleted you on my list. And I didn’t bother to explain why. The very reason is that I don’t wanna see the pictures that you are posting on your profile, especially, he’s also with you in the picture. I don’t wanna read all the surveys that you’re posting containing all those happy moments with him.

I was too scared for you to see me cry or in pain.

I was thinking then, to fight for what we have, but I never saw it in your eyes that you wanted me to.

I was too coward to let you know that I need you. I was coward to voice out what I have inside. Afraid that you may laugh at it. I was afraid that you wouldn’t take it seriously.

It’s complicated.

But maybe. Just maybe… Just like the song, there could still be miracles for us.

In time.

I’d be here. And you’d be there.

I missed you.

I’m learning to breathe.

I’m learning to crawl.

I’m finding that you, and you alone can break my fall.

I’m living again,

awake and alive.

I’m dying to breathe in this abundant skies.

Hello!

Good Morning!

How you do?

Hear it, I’m screaming it
You’re heeding to it now

Hear it! I’m screaming it!
You tremble at this sound

Your energy comes from my negativity. Is that it?

If so.

Do not wait for me to unleash my devil side. Because, I can guarantee you, you wouldn’t fucking like it.

I’m old enough to know what I should and should not do. And I’m too fucking great, because I know what I can do, and can not do.

I’m not afraid.

I do not fear.

Do not push me to the limit.

I’d break you.

I’d fucking break you ’til you bleed.

Do not wait for that moment. Do not.

Look within.

Dig in deeper.

And then you’d understand.

You’d understand why.

See me,
see me standing by.
Not afraid,
not afraid to die.

Shackles,
shackles on my feet.
Oh, fear not,
I do not fear to bleed.

Ignore,
ignore all this pain that I keep,
Not screaming,
holding on to my teeth,

Not caught up,
wanting to see.
No need to stop,
pushing forward to symphony.

In the middle,
but not in the past.
Feeling the soul,
fulfill the task.

Would you tell me, how could it be, any better than this?