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I am, finally. June 30, 2007

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First of month.

Whoa.

It was a long vacation for me. And I should be starting to complete all the necessary requirements that I need with my new job.

New life, new home.

New goal, new perspective.

Yeah. And the list goes on…

Too many things happened with me from last month, and I was so blown to surprised. Never ocurred that it will happen.

Just that fast huh?

I can’t lose control now, I can’t lose focus.

Distractions?

I promised not to ever mind you again.

This time, the you that I need to pertain to, should turn to I.

Eat your lies. I just don’t mind anymore.

I am finally free!

Mono June 29, 2007

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It seemed cool enough that you made a fool out of me again.

And all you could ever say was you’re sorry without even meaning it.

How selfish did you become?

You keep on disappointing me.

And no matter how the truth lies in your face, you shelved it down, and pretend that it’s not blocking in your way.

Don’t worry.

This?

It will all pass.

And we would all know whose gonna win.

Life is a battlefield.

Hunch June 28, 2007

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And so i thought.

Never fails me.

Midnight June 27, 2007

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You wonder, where could she be?

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

You’ve beaten your fucking brain again with the thought that you know for a fact that will choke you once again.

And, for the nth time, you lighted one.

And wished that, it’ll just take you away.

Away.

Smoke June 26, 2007

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We rarely go on the same page, as i puff my cigarette and read in between the lines. I felt, more frustrated.

I’ve found, through the smoke, that you went away with it.

So afraid that this just may turn out to be a black one, and would see you, again, lying on the floor, with a dust in your face.

Words, for you turned out to be security. And I, was stuck with the action, surrounded with all the sadness, in the ground that I am lying into.

Stuck, with the soaring highness that you’re feeling.

I can still remember…

WE, once were high with whatever you call it.

And if in case, you’d turn out to be, a black smoke.

Just, look around.

Even if, I’m as clumsy as you are, I won’t go by with the song….

I’m on your back.

Sunlight June 25, 2007

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You’ve been down,

for how many times now?

You’ve lost count.

You were living, not exactly, but let’s call it “existing”.

When you thought, you’ve found the saving grace that you’ve been waiting for, you’d suddenly wake up from a bad dream, and realize that you were wrong.

Too much of existing in pain.

Too much of existing in hate and sadness.

Enough of that, you’d say.

You’re not bound for this so called “life” that you are existing in. You know that there’s so much in store for you. Although, you always opt for the dark side. You always go for the wrong way. You’d settle for the good, not for the great.

That’s why you’d always end up, hurting yourself even more. Sobbing, sulking. Being numb.

Enough of it.

And suddenly, you decided on ending it all. By those two words. Two words that’s always associated with a sad lingering feeling.

Those two words, which can also be change to one.

Which one would it be, it would’nt matter.

You needed to.

For you not to exist, but to live. For you to breathe not to suffocate. For you to believe and not to lie. For you not to rust, but to trust.

And you would see the sun now, without the flickering feeling.

Move on.

Goodbye.

Pointless (Keep on pushing forward) June 25, 2007

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You’re left in the middle, again.

You’ve been thinking lot lately.

You’ve watched time, then turned ’round like nothing happened.

… Just that easy.

Just that easy…

Pretended that you were born anew.

… Just that easy.

Just that easy…

But deep down,

You knew,

Somethin’s screaming out.

Complicated perhaps.

You kept silent though.

You just shrug off the feeling.

(You always shrug off the feeling)

You would let it slip away.

(for the nth time now)

You would always be caught up in between.

(Still those questions would linger inside your head)

Insanity and reality.

Equals to

Serious Vanity.